Plan? Plan? I Have to Have A Plan?

Image by Official U.S. Navy Imagery via Flickr

"What’s your plan?"

This question was posed to me by three different people over a one week period while trudging around the gym doing that thing it is that I do.

Hmm, I thought my plan was to get my health back, wear a size 12 pair of jeans, and do it without hurting myself or anyone else.

The anyone else is important.

While burning up the Precor machine a while ago I hit the cord on my earphones that somehow managed to flip my Blackberry up in the air and like a bullet it took off across the gym nearly taking out three other people!

Plan, eh? I have to have a plan?

Finding their question rather delightful I guess I never really thought that I had to have a plan - although I did have goals.

Since my entire career is based around goals and plans, plans and goals is does seem rather odd that I would not have a plan around my fitness goals.

However, I am also a bit of a creative - well maybe not a bit and there are times where I totally enjoy being a free spirit.

The gym a place were I just kind of let my spirit loose and decide what I am doing based on oh let's say my mood or what kind of music I want to listen to... ooohhh perhaps they caught on to that and I have been official busted. Damn.

In my own defense I had been following my previous trainer's fitness plan and in January of 2010 I had gotten a workout routine from Paul Plakas.

One of the things that Paul Plakas is known for is setting fitness goals.  

My first fitness goal was to wear high heels for one day without falling and breaking my neck.  For some reason he didn’t respond to that one! (Apparently he doesn’t wear heels and he probably didn’t understand the challenges associated with being able to wear them for a WHOLE day!)

The second fitness goal I threw out was to climb Garbage Hill without expiring. Still no response.

My third idea was to bike 24 kms. Still no response.

The fourth was to climb the Turtle’s Back with ease.  That got him excited. Me? Not so much and anyone who has trudge up that crazy hill knows exactly what I am talking about.

This past summer I completed all four. I even exceeded the biking goal, throwing my neck out for a week – but who cared I did it. My niece and nephew along with a couple of their buddies trudged up the Turtle’s Back with me and I appreciated that.  

All that being said this meant setting a new goal.

I decided that perhaps trying a half marathon would be a good challenge to work towards provided that my knee would hold out and began to arrange my workout to reflect that idea.  

Then my pals at the gym asked me about “my plan” and it got me to thinking.  

Is running a half marathon the right fitness goal for me? Ah, probably not. Maybe there is something else I could take a look at that would be more suitable to my personality.  

And, after thinking about it I have an idea. In the New Year I am going to send out some feelers to see if anyone else may be interested. However, it will require a partner, someone who knows what they are doing, and this time maybe someone a little closer to home.

One of the magical gifts that come with friends and good acquaintances is that they have an amazing ability to keep you on track and in check.

And, as the New Year approaches and as tradition dictates it is time to ask you: What is your plan?

ThInQ About It!

And to get you in the mood here is Eye of the Tiger as posted on Youtube.

Related articles

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• Happy Holidays! Happy Half Marathon Training! (carlybananas.com)
• 'Tis The Season - 2012 Goals (rockthedogs.wordpress.com)

Inspiration? Wasn't Expecting That!

A couple of weeks ago one of the people at the gym that I have gotten to know came up to me and said, “You inspire me.”

Wasn't expecting that.

Image via Wikipedia

While we were having a bit of a visit I kept thinking... how on earth could I be an inspiration to this woman? She is drop dead gorgeous. I am honoured and the same time befuddled.

The truth is she, along with a handful of others, are the ones that keep me going. (aside from the inner fear that one day Paul Plakas will make a surprise appearance and I will be made to run through some ridiculous obstacle course in front of everyone)

Last fall when I resumed my membership at the gym I knew it was going to be a big commitment. It was much harder than expected.

There are two parts of the gym one for women and the other coed. While getting my feet underneath me I hung out on the woman’s side. Everyday taking the electronic fitness test on the Precor machine and everyday failing.

One of my friends was taking Zumba and being the silly willy I can be I used to hide behind the machines making faces at her and shaking my bootie while she was dancing. All fun and games until the gal in front of her thought I was putting the moves on her and was winking back.

Time to move to the coed side.

And like my usually self I went over there with the intent of making new friends.  

(There was one individual in particular that I planned to meet. Big Red. Of course as luck would have it my tongue got wrapped around my tonsils, my inner 12 year old came out and to this day I have never been able to speak. If my ogling hasn’t gotten on his nerves I can guarantee you it has definitely gotten on mine. Although I am certain if I looked behind me there is a long line of people wanting to shake the hand of the one who actually rendered me silent! )

Aside from messing it up with Big Red I made a series of additional errors by saying hello to a couple of people. It was kind of an odd feeling when I was met with the laser hairy eyeball stare, as in “what in the hell are you doing?” I didn’t understand it. The third situation one little pup told me to get the “heck out of the road” when he wanted the bench I was using. I still have not found my forgiveness button and every time I see him I secretly want to trip him – although that wouldn’t be very nice. 


Right then and there I decided that if I was going to do this it was going to be done my way - with or without the Lulu Lemon headband.

Needless to say, and this took me a bit of time to understand, I hadn’t just entered a gym where I was going to work out and meet friends. I had entered into a community and it was going to take a bit of time before in-roads were going to be made and the friend thing was going to have to wait.

While waiting I was reminded that communication 80% body language and even though I was in a place  filled with people who have nearly perfect bodies (because they work at it) there were just a few who really popped out of the crowd. And, that has to do with their inner mojo  - they have a special bounce in their step and a sauce in their swagger. Interestingly enough they also seem to me to be the ones who are the most disciplined with their workout routines.

These are the folks who inspire me and fortunately I have gotten to know most of them.... except for Big Red and Curly.

My quick visits with Candace and on occasion with her man Alex are always the opening act.  I have been amazed by Courteney’s transformation. Jeannette who digs deep into her work outs and Mike who is always checking to make sure that life treating me well. If it wasn’t for the gym I probably would never see Roj.

There have been invitations to join classes and messages of encouragement.

My pal Jen is a spark in the dark and she has the most amazing laugh never mind killer abs. She reminds us via Twitter and through her Facebook posts that she isn’t always up.

And  - that is other great part of this community. Somehow we keep each other going with high fives and you go because without it would be too easy to go home and curl up on the sofa to watch the rerun of Bridgette Jones Diaries while munching on a box of bonbons.

Inspiring people are around you every single day. They are the ones who stir the tiny sparks of desire within so that you find yourself saying: I can do that! I can do that!

It is not the same as being competitive. It is really the beginning of a great adventure should you decide to take it. Where are you inspired to go?

ThInQ About It!

And while doing that how about a little Miley Cyrus as posted on Youtube.

Related articles

• Dance your way to fitness with Zumba (justsave.co.uk)
• Allow yourself to be inspired by Others. (otheresteem.org)
• Woman Uses White Board Messages to Inspire Others on Michigan Ave. (the2012scenario.com)

Paul Plakas Asks Questions

Today Paul Plakas, personal education and fitness trainer and television host of X Weighted posted this on Facebook: Question to provoke discussion - This year I am going to ask questions that I would like a variety of opinions upon. Question #1 - Do people have a responsibility to the rest of society to take care of their own health? or the less politically correct question: Do people have the right to make themselves morbidly obese?

Plakas always seems to have a way of making one think. Even if it ruffles one’s skin the wrong way. It took me about two hours to sort out how I was going to respond to his provocative questions because there was at least 100 different ways I could go with this.

The only person that has a responsibility for your health is you. Society on the other hand has the responsibility to provide services and tools to help those with the desire take control of their own destinies.

A few years ago I was diagnosed with post traumatic stress disorder. There is no denying that with amount of stress and trauma occurring around me this was a real possibility. At the same time I was also having problems with “strange attacks” that felt like butterflies in my chest and my hands would turn bright red.

To help with the post traumatic stress disorder I was put on the most fashionable drug of choice at the time for anxiety - starting out with half a pill of the lowest dose.

The affects were quick and profound. I was so keyed up I was nearing swinging from the chandeliers. To help with my sudden burst of non-stop energy I was then put on another drug to bring me down. All the while the “strange attacks” were not getting better, they were getting worse.

Already struggling with my weight the one good news story during that period was that I was experiencing amazing results with my trainer at the gym. For the first time in my life I was able to do chin ups and was jogging. That all fell apart when the cocktail of uppers and downers caught up resulting in a weight gained 40 pounds in two weeks.

I was immediately taken off the drugs, however, the “attacks” continued.



Outwardly I appeared calm. Inwardly I was hysterical. Desperate to get the weight off I attended a healthy eating class and took up walking as much and as often as I could.

While in class I had one of my episode and was ushered in to see a Nurse Practitioner.

Turned out those “strange attacks” were allergic reactions to the preservatives and chemicals added into our foods. Later I learned that tests could not be run to find out which chemicals were the culprits because they don’t know what is being put in our food and whatever the additives are they are constantly being changed and the medical community cannot keep up. I also learned that a symptom of an allergy attack is anxiety.

Ugg!

The Rule of thumb became eat nothing out of a box or a can and if I do – don`t just read the labels - study them.

Unfortunately my body could not hold the weight and I started to fall, successfully managing to embarrass my niece and nephew (and others) at the most inconvenient times and in most public places. Eventually I tore up the cartilage in my knee so badly I could barely stand never mind trying to walk. Advil and Tylenol became my friends for months until I was able to receive surgery to get things cleaned up.

The rips in my knee were so bad the surgeon took pictures of it and dropped

them off in the recovery room as a parting present. He also told me that that the surgery was not going to work and even though he wrote me the script for physiotherapy neither was it.

I chose not to hear him.

Off I went for physio learning very quickly the problem was not my knee it was the way I was walking. I spent that summer learning how to re-walk and dropped 30 pounds.

By the next summer I had taken up biking but a cyst on my foot, a popped knee cap, and a car accident put a damper on all of it. Even with physiotherapy the bike riding became too difficult.

Getting really fed up with the situation I got myself back to the gym, got focused, said the hell with everything. Eventually I got a hold of Paul Plakas who set up a couple of routines to help strengthen the injured areas and I went to work. Just over a year later another fifteen pounds lighter and four sizes smaller my health is now that much better. 

Do people have the right to make themselves morbidly obese?

Every person has their own unique story on how they found themselves in trouble with their weight and chronic obesity. To me obesity is just an outward reflection on what is occurring on the inside.  Every person’s weight story is complex and to try to put it all under one label as being this or that is being irresponsible and naive.

It is one of the most stigmatized conditions especially in Western society and reality television shows that offer prize money for weight loss in my mind is offensive. So is cutting funding in schools for things like physical education and then as a fundraiser having the students sell chocolate covered almonds.

What I have shared is just a tiny glimpse into all the work that has occurred during the past five years, but the work is paying off and I’m not done yet. Slowly yes, but every step with assured confidence.

The only person that has and can take responsibility for your health is you. The services and tools you need exist within society should you desire take control of your own destiny.

ThInQ About It

Manitoba's Drummer Boy Sean Quigley

Now, this kid looks like he is having fun. Only in Manitoba could you enjoy hammering out the drums in the middle of snow bank! 

ThInQ About It!

We Want To Create... Occupy Wall Street

Maybe just listen... think.create.imagine.express



You have such gifts that are important... thInQ About It.

The Keeper Of The Lake

On Remembrance Day I not only think of those who have lost their lives in war, but also of those families who have been left behind. This story is about a veteran named Bill Goodwill.  He was a father, my grandfather, a creator, and my friend. In my youthful thinking I thought he would live forever... I should have learned more from him.

It is my experience that we all seem to have a clear picture of how we view the Military. However, we continue to struggle with how to handle conflict.

The motto of the Canadian Legion when educating in our school systems is "Never Again." This comes from people who genuinely know. May we continue to strive to live up to that expectation.

November 7, 1998

The morning is silent.
A man sits patiently in his fishing boat
In the middle of a small lake.
He - is its Keeper.

Around him is pristine beauty.
Fall colours delicately painted
On trees, hills, and meadows.
He calls this home.

The air is fresh, crisp.
Sunbeams touch the water
Creating dancing images that mirror
The glitter in the Keeper’s eyes.

Wondering who this man is
We call out to him.
And, within an instant
He is before us.

With a mischievous twinkle
He hands us a rope
From the chilly water.
We give a little tug.

With ease
The line begins to move towards us.
With it comes
The keys to the Keeper’s life.

A jar of honey, a cowbell,
A sprig of wheat,
An engineer’s ring,
A fishing net.

Soon it releases his service,
A poppy,
Some medals,
And, a Legion Crest.

No desire for luxury items
The Keeper crafted his own.
Bookshelves from barn that once was his home,
Lamps crafted from wine jugs.

There were bouts of laughter with
The chattering teeth, wrapping paper, and
The sounds of him singing
“Chasing the Cows Through the Brandon Hills.”

A suitcase, clipboard, log patio set, and a
Silver ring from a World War II bullet case.
Lastly, the water let go of his tools.
A needle and thread, a hammer, saw, and hoe.

Amazed, we looked up at the Keeper.
Who gazed back at us.
We began to speak,
But something made us stop.

The Keeper said nothing,
Returned to his boat,
And rowed away,
Only to stop to cast forth a new net.

A Pittance of Time by Terry Kelly

A few years ago I had the opportunity to meet and work with Terry Kelly.

He is one of several gems who have blessed my life.

In Rememberance of all those who have bravely taken stands to make US be better, to think deeper, the feel broader, and to expand our experiences beyond what we imagine our real capacities might be.

Take Two Minutes Would You Mind.

ThInQ About It

A Pittance of Time by Terry Kelly as posted on YouTube.

Knowing What You Value Is Step Number Two In Setting Awesome Goals

Knowing (Image via RottenTomatoes.com)The next step in goal setting is knowing what it is that you value.

According to Wikipedia values can be defined as broad preferences concerning appropriate courses of action or outcomes. As such, values reflect a person’s sense of right and wrong or what “ought” to be. Values tend to influence attitudes and behavior.

An example of knowing your values would be if you are a champion for equal rights and you go to work for an organization that does not promote both men and woman equally nor does it pay men and women equally. You may find the experience of working for such an organization incompatible, stressful and not in alignment with who you really are - resulting in an unpleasant work experience.

Another example would be if you are someone who values family and wants to have children. You marry someone who does not want to have children hoping to convince them later. This will only lead to a great deal of discontentment and a life being left unfulfilled.

At the end of the day experiences are the only things that you get to take with you when you pass over to the other side. Knowing what it is that you value aligns your energy and allows you to focus on what kinds of experiences you wish to engage in.

As one matures and accumulates experiences along with expanded knowledge - personal and cultural values - from time to time may change and adjust. That is just the ebb and flow of life and one has to be open to the flexibility of change.

Identifying your values is an inside job that is expressed outwardly. Not the other way around. If you are relying on others to tell you what you should think and know then you are not being honest with yourself.

Knowing what is important to you starts with identifying with what makes you feel emotions such as happiness, well-being or contentment, love or joy.

Betterstill, what are the things that get you really excited? What is fun for you? What makes you laugh? What challenges your thinking? What expands your world?

The answers to these questions are your values. Take some time and figure them out – and you are one step closer to producing some awesome goals!

ThInQ About It!

And, while doing that why not take a moment to listen to the queen of changing values Madonna and her hit Human Nature as posted on YouTube.

Related articles

• Setting Goals With Basic Values (isaidwow.wordpress.com)
• Previous Post (nlpskills4you.wordpress.com)
• How To Have More Control Over The Decisions You Make - From The Inside Out with NLP (nlpconsultant.wordpress.com)

First Step in Goal Setting

If you want to be different, be yourself - Joel Brown.

The first and the most important qualifier in setting personal goals is to love yourself the most because when you do everything begins to make sense.

Life is meant to be lived from the inside out - not from the outside in.

Living your life to please the expectations of others will not bring about your dreams.

Being in a state of appreciating you grants you the gift of hearing your own voice and rather than the choir of other well meaning people.

There are no mistakes only experiences.

Who do you think really knows better?

thInQ About It

And while you are pondering that... here is Think as posted on YouTube by the Blues Brothers. Sing it Aretha.

When You Want To Succeed

When you want to succeed as bad as you want to breathe then you will be successful...

Who keeps you connected to you to your dream?

Aretha Franklin, the Blues Brothers and Think

ThInQ About It


Aretha Franklin as posted on Youtube by Blues Brothers Music.




Think (think) think (think) think (think)
Think (think) think (think) think (think)

You better think (think) think about what you're trying to do to me
Yeah, think (think, think), let your mind go, let yourself be free
Let's go back, let's go back, let's go way on back when
I didn't even know you, you came to me and too much you wouldn't take
I ain't no psychiatrist, I ain't no doctor with degree
It don't take too much high IQ's to see what you're doing to me

You better think (think) think about what you're trying to do to me
Yeah, think (think, think), let your mind go, let yourself be free
Oh freedom (freedom), freedom (freedom), freedom, yeah freedom
Freedom (freedom), freedom (freedom), freedom, ooh freedom
There ain't nothing you could ask I could answer you but I won't (I won't)
I was gonna change, but I'm not, to keep doing things I don't
You better think (think) think about what you're trying to do to me
Yeah, think (think, think), let your mind go, let yourself be free

People walking around everyday, playing games that they can score
And I ain't gonna be the loser my way, ah, be careful you don't lose yours
You better think (think) think about what you're trying to do to me
Yeah, think (think, think), let your mind go, let yourself be free
You need me (need me) and I need you (don't you know)
Without eachother there ain't nothing people can do

Oh freedom (freedom), freedom (freedom), freedom, yeah freedom
Freedom (freedom), freedom (freedom), freedom, ooh freedom
There ain't nothing you could ask I could answer you but I won't (I won't)
I was gonna change, but I'm not, if you're doing things I don't
You better think (think) think about what you're trying to do to me
Yeah, think (think, think), let your mind go, let yourself be free
You need me (need me) and I need you (don't you know)

Without each other there ain't nothing people can do 
Songwriters: ISLEY, RONALD / MAYFIELD, CURTIS / MAYFIELD, CURTIS 

There's Only One Buddha On The Road - Don't Doubt It

Image by Pathum Jayasekara via Flickr

“If you meet the Buddha on the road, kill him.”

Planting seeds of doubt in another is the validation and outward expression of your own unfulfilled promise to yourself.

Doubt is the producer of unrealized possibilities; the thief of the creators; the blinder of the expressive; the jailhouse keeper of imagination; and the puppeteer who controls thought.

The twin soul of fear is doubt. Who is a master magician capable of disguising itself as a nurturing friend, a caring mother, and the wise sage.

Rudyard Kipling wrote these wise words in his poem If: If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you, But make allowance for their doubting too.

Making the allowance means realizing and recognizing where others are coming from. Gauge that by asking: Is it a place where the greatest and grandest of your gifts are being validated, fined tuned, and uplifted or is it coming from the individual's unrealized pool of potential? Trust yourself and surround yourself with people who are going to be your champions just as you would champion them.

Leaders need to be lead; the rest will follow. Are you the rest or are you the leader?
 
There is only one Buddha on the road, don't doubt it because it is you.
 
But then again, this is just my Opinion.
 
 

Related articles

• Taste and see Find your own Voice and Quote from the BUddha (greatpoetrymhf.wordpress.com)

Find Your Awesome With Neil Paricha and TED

Neil Pasricha: The 3 A's of Awesome

Your Are Brilliant

Ideas to Innovation. 

Thanks to my friend Judy on Facebook for sharing this idea. Whoever the author you are brilliant.

Who would of, could of, or should of thought of something so incredibly ingenious!

Insane? Possibly

Image via WikipediaThey say the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again expecting a different result.

For nearly ten months I have been engaged in a situation where - I was doing the same thing over and over again - expecting a different result.

Insane? Possibily. Especially when one of my most trusted friends told me I was starting to look like a cartoon character.

At first I thought what she said was funny, which in some weird way it was, but then I realized as Brittany Spears would say "oops I did it again!" 

Darn.

Taking a good look at the whole sorted affair made me realize that the problem wasn't anything external. It was all about me. Neurotic I know - but it always gets back to your own truth. My action was inaction and inaction was driving me crazy.

Recently another friend asked me what I was up to - you have that look that you are up to something.

Of course, I was up to something.

I made a decision to release my own dramarama, got down to business, and started doing something different. Taking on a new course of action all the while being acutely aware of the anex of uncertainty and separation but confident enough to know that this was just a decision and things will unfold as they will.

From time to time we all get caught in this behavior pattern. The point is how long do you let it go on?

Life is sometimes not easy ONLY because we make it so hard on ourselves. And, when it gets to the point that things aren't fun anymore - its is time to change it up.

Different results are made when different decisions are made. Make them before your drive yourself insane.

ThInQ About It

And, while you are doing that here is Five for Fighting as posted on YouTube

The Inside Job of Peace

Image via WikipediaToday I read somewhere "Peace an inside job."

September 21st is the UN's World Day of Peace.

The path to peace, for most, is not an easy nor a calm journey. Life can be indeed painful, unfortunately horrific, and when you have a planet filled with billions of people building peace is as complex as each person in it.

Often, when I hear people say they are taking up meditation for the first time so they can relax I silently chuckle and wish them well. Because in the beginning of that process all those little "buggers" you have stored in your personal closet of crap will indeed start falling out!

Fear not, this is a good thing - just not in the beginning is it a peaceful one.

Disharmony has its purpose. We just have to have a kinder attitude towards it. 

Upheaval and pain shows us what we don't like. Thus, giving us the opportunity to invest time, energy, resources, and most importantly action into what we do like.

As humans we have a tendency to keep ourselves stuck in what we don't like.

So the question is I wonder how much better life would become if we spent more of ourselves focusing on what we do like rather than what we don't? (paraphrased from E. Hicks)

While doing some research for the UN's World Peace Day I came across this presentation giving in 1992 by Severn Suzuki to the United Nations.

Personally, I am a lot more optimistic and have a great deal more faith about our world and the people who live it, than what is presented in this Youtube video. But, in all fairness and as much as I don't like it what Ms Suzuki has to say is still relevant twenty years later. And, that makes me wonder how much closer to peace are we now than we were twenty years ago?

Inside the job of peace, what is your path?

ThInQ About It.

You Are Magnificent

Image by {platinum} via Flickr

Making my way to where we play.

Seeing you there I stop and stare.

Busted - not sure how many times.

Crossed over - dunno how many lines.

Lights flash and begin to swing.

See darlin' I don’t want to miss a thing.

What can I say?

You are magnificent.

Reach for a pen, but it won’t write.

Reach for the keyboard, but it won’t type.

Reach for the words, but I can’t breath.

Reach for the top, everything stops.

Your are magnificent.

A twelve year old is all that I see.

Can’t believe I’m lookin at me.

Waited for that perfect sign.

Demanding better all the time.

(Been so many I'm damn near blind.)

Here we are once again.

Sorry, sunshine can’t complain.

What can I say?

You are magnificent.

Reach for a pen, but it won’t write.

Reach for the keyboard, but it won’t type.

Reach for the words, but I can’t breath.

Reach for the top, everything stops.

Your are magnificent.

A silver line is all that binds.

The truth from what is told.

This hand folds.

The game is done - it was fun.

Never intended this to be

Uncomfortable
For You - at all - You see.

'Cause that is just not me.

It is just not me.

What can I say?

You are magnificent.

If by Rudyard Kipling

Image by alex drennan via FlickrIf you can keep your head when all about you,
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too.

If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;

If you can dream---and not make dreams your master;
If you can think---and not make thoughts your aim,
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same.

If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build'em up with worn-out tools;

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings,
And never breathe a word about your loss:

If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!"

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with Kings---nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much:

If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And---which is more---you'll be a Man, my son!

Light My Fire - Blog Off

There are some things I do not enjoy doing. One of them is spending hours upon hours in a Casino. The other is doing dishes.

My parents on the other hand – as shocking as this is to say – love it, going to the Casino that is. They hired maid to help with the dishes.

I consider their admiration for the Casino a generation gap, they think I am weriod. I revert to the first part of that statement.

Being the supportive, open minded person I am I will, on occasion, totle along with them to their favourite places to lose cash in the name of entertainment. Apparently it fun. However, if I am there longer than two hours I not only start to go buggy I also start to look for places to hide.

One night I chose to depart from the world of clanging machines and headed into the ladies washroom. I was desparate.

Hiding in the stall I was happily playing Bejewelled on my cell phone. It didn’t cost me a thing, my score was outstanding, and I was at peace. Or so I thought.

All of a sudden I could hear this poor woman sobbing. Awkward.

I was naturally concerned for my fellow washroom mate. Clearly something was wrong. Then my brain went into overdrive... Oh my gosh maybe someone has died – or maybe she’s lost all her money... or....

Then there was a voice.

A friend of the poor heartbroken woman stepped in, “There, there dear... he doesn’t love her, he loves you. I am telling he LOVES you."

The sobbing gets louder.

I go cross-eyed. Lord it is all about a boy.

The exchange went back and forth between the two women but the bottom line was the lady in distress was upset because she thought her man was after another woman or something like that.

And, there I am bearing silent witness to a love triangle in the lady’s washroom at the Casino. Great. Punishment I swear. I also secrectly believe that my mother probably sent them in there.

After listening to the dramarama for about 10 minutes I decided it was better to go and gamble. Leaving my hiding space I turned to wash my hands and there before me were the two women. One sobbing with her face buried into hands, the other lovingly holding her up. They were both well into their 80’s. As in years not the decade.

I never did wash hands. I walked away as fast as I could with one voice screaming inside my head... “Oh my God the relationship drama never ends! We never really grow up! AAAhhhhh!”

Every time I think of that moment in my not so glamorous gambling career I feel a great deal of compassion for that lady. 

I also feel a great deal of resolve for myself. 

Even though I am far from perfect and that my own dating track record could vastly use some improvement the one thing I know for sure is my own spark. It took a long time to find it and one heck of a pile of work. The truth is no one can light your fire for you - only you determine how bright or dim it is going to be.  

ThInQ About It.

Now what about those dishes?

Be sure to scroll down and read what Kai has written in her portion of this Blog Off and enjoy the The Doors Light My Fire as posted on YouTube.

Extending A Hand - Blog Off

When I think back to the mentors, teachers, professors, family, and friends who extended their hand to me, at the times when I needed them to, it is rather amazing! They say it takes a village to raise a child and I believe that cliché is true, for it was so with me. I had many people in my realm who saw me as "different" and so they challenged me in appropriate ways; and as I seem to have been born with a thirst for learning, they helped to instill a strong level of personal responsibility within me regarding it. That continued into my early adulthood, I sought strong individuals whose integrity was at the forefront, and I learned much from their wisdom.

Now the tables have turned and it has been my turn to mentor and teach. How that happened is really anyone's guess! I suppose we are pulled to certain areas for certain reasons. Although I have been doing aspects of this work for many years, I am still surprised when a client or student quotes me. I suppose it means that they are actually listening. So it is then that I do my best to mention something that they too have said, after all, the most interesting interactions are mutual!

We have a tendency to forget and value the connections we can make with other people. Although we are a part of a "Global Community" it is rare for North Americans to really think that way. We're more concerned with our "immediate communities" our own friends and families. Most people do not think further than their immediate (or core) group of people. Even in cities, we see such a separation between groups, and that is really to our detriment. Opening ourselves up to see others as the same as us really helps to build bridges between groups. If we cannot even do that in our own communities, dare we even say that we, individually, are a part of the Global Community? It has to start somewhere.

What I have learned is this: people don't need a hand-out and rarely do they truly need a helping hand, what most people appreciate is an extended hand. To extend our hand (metaphorically or in reality) we are saying to the other person, "I respect you and I am meeting you on even ground." That is what the people who helped to guide me did. They respected me enough to meet me on even ground and challenge me and share their wisdom from that place. We have a choice, always, when we interact with others. We can view them as: above us, beneath us, or with us on the journey. I prefer to walk with others, when I'm not walking alone, and I find it far easier to converse when I'm not looking ahead to someone or looking back to them but looking at them face to face. Sometimes, it really is that simple.

- Kai