It Wasn’t But It Was

It wasn’t the horse

That was in the barn.

It wasn’t the piano

That played the song.

It wasn’t all the lessons

That made me strong.

It wasn’t the independence

That I wanted.

It wasn’t the freedom

That I fought.

It wasn’t the responsibility

That I sought.

It wasn’t the care

That roamed the world.

It wasn’t the sports

That I longed

It wasn’t the instruments

That I carried along.

It wasn’t the size.

That brought me peace.

It wasn’t the hairstyle

That made me, me.

It wasn’t the glasses

That I could see.

It was the moments

That we let go.

It was the time

That we didn’t spend

It was the playing

That we needed to be friends.

It was the warmth

That didn’t flow

It was the lessons

That needed taught

It was your acceptance

That wasn’t bought.

It was the trying to please

That you wanted.

It was the understanding

That couldn’t be

It was the hurt

That you wouldn’t see.

It was things okay for you

That was done.

It was role you saw

That I gave

It was the approval

That I slaved.

It was the past

That I let go

It was the things

That were yours not mine.

It was the beginning

That is mine this time.

Songbird Expression 32.2.19

Can You Hear Me Speak?

Can you hear me speak?

Messages soft and sweet.

Quiet solace sound

Meaning so profound.

Do you know my voice?

The one who gives you choice.

Instead of thoughts that crowd me out.

That starts up all your crazy doubt.

Can you feel my joy?

As I toss you a swimmer’s buoy.

To save you from drowning

In the pool of noise surrounding.

Do you see my face?

When you give me daily grace.

For all that you need.

And, for that which I plead.

Can you taste my victory?

As you overcome your misery.

You’ve quested and you’ve screamed

Lost in what it means.

Do you smell the rain?

Washing yourself sane.

Holding your heart so tight

Avoiding Me with all your might.

Can you hear me speak?

With a voice quiet and meek.

That guides you on a way.

Granting you freedom everyday.

Songbird Expression 32.2.19

1999

You Arrive

Today, you will arrive.
The air, sun, and trees told.
My heart beats - as if I expect a surprise –

Like a schoolgirl
Waiting for her first date.
A flock of sparrows ahead of me swirl.

On top of this hill
I strain to see.
All is oddly still.

Nothing from the east.
A light breeze tickles,
The precipitation now has ceased.

The sun barely shows
Through the grey hazy sky.
It too is trying to hide what it knows.

To the west of where I sit,
I hear the melting snow
Off the big red barn, drip, drip, drip.

From the south, vaguely, a sound.
My heart leaps.
Are you coming down?

No, not yet.
It was only the far off roar
Of a single jet.

You are still miles away.
Tucked in the mountains,
But, you are coming today.

Time has been swift
It is now past dusk
As my aching body I lift.

From the damp ground
On my feet
I strain, again, for the sound.

Starting for home.
The cattle watch me.
A few give a boring moan.

Once in doors
The warmth tires me, quickly
As the furnance begins to roar.

Soon I am asleep.
Trying to resist
Not going to deep.

Somewhere in the midnight hour
You arrive
Over and over the miles.

I hear the loud crashing sound
Of ice and snow.
As by your strength you break them down.

Taking all
Into your journey
There is no time to stall.

Putting on my coat.
I run to where you are.
You are no longer remote.

I greet you,
My cries are not heard.
Your loud thunder deafens all I do.

The creek has burst
With water from the hills
This is not your first.

Leaping with much delight
For now it is spring
On the prairies at midnight.

Songbird Expression 32.2.19