Thursday, June 9, 2011

Canucks, This Hockey Aunt's Opinion On How to Win the Stanley Cup

The engraved names of the 2000-01 Stanley Cup ...Image via WikipediaDear Vancouver Canucks,

As a hockey aunt and Canadian here is the best advice you will ever receive to help you win the Stanley Cup. Then again, it's just my Opinion.

1. Go to the grocery store.

2. Buy a roast, potatoes, carrots, and onion.

3. Go to the liquor store.

4. Buy a 6 pack of Canadian beer of your choice for #11.

5. You will need these things for strength.

6. Cook roast and vegtables.

7. Have one beer while it is cooking.

8. Eat dinner.

9. After eating sit on deck and contemplate the Stanley Cup with your name on it in 2011.

10. As soon as you are relaxed and focused, have one more beer. You will need it.

11. Pick up the phone and call your mother. Do not be afraid. This will be the most courageous thing you will ever ever ever do because no matter what you have to say or no matter what you are thinking... she will put on her lipstick and tell you what you need to hear and more than you ever wanted to know. (This will include brushing your teeth, should you have any left.)

12. Go to sleep.

13. Upon waking if in doubt about #11 call your Grandmother. She trained your mother and she will strainghten out whatever kinks may be left.

14. Then, get yourself to the rink. Greet your team, put on that hockey equipment, place that hockey stick in your hand, and play the game like you have never, ever, EVER have played it before.

15. Because if you don't you will at some point have to talk to your mother again, refer to #11.

16. Your dad? Refer to #11, he wil have the speech memorized and be able to repeat it in several languages and backwards.

17. Don't forget to bring home the Cup and have fun!

P.S. Don't call any of your aunts - it will be worse than #11, recovery time is way too long!

As posted on YouTube Stompin' Tom Connors has a little tune for you to hum to as you get on with your day.




Enhanced by Zemanta

No comments: