Image by Muffet via FlickrI tear my gym bag a part dumping all its contents all around me.
I can't find it. Nope it is not here.
Darn, where did I leave it? At home? No. I am sure I didn’t take it out of my gym bag. I must have left it here.
I put on my gym clothes, lock my stuff up, and head off to the front desk.
There I find a lovely lady, who is much taller than me and wearing an ever so patient smile. She asks how she can help me.
“I can’t find my water bottle. I bought it at Starbucks about ten years ago. It is green with butterflies on it. It has been with me pretty well every day since. I think I left it here. Do you have a lost and found?”
“Yes, it is over on the co-ed side.”
Off I go to the cupboard of lost items where I hope my water bottle is hiding. Rummaging through the never ending pile of stuff I start to sweat. No water bottle. Ugg. A slight feeling of anxiety rips through me. Chastizing myself, "How could I have been so careless?"
Putting all the lost items back I went back to her and said, “no it isn’t there.”
“Well,” she said in a very calm voice, “maybe the cleaning lady took it to the back, I don’t have a key to her area and she isn’t in for another hour."
“I’ll wait. Thank you for your help.”
I go, do my work out, and the moment the clock strikes 6 pm I find myself standing once again at the counter. The cleaning staff is called. I am taken to the back and the moment she opens the door viola there is my water bottle.
I thank the lady profoundly and she tells me I had better put it in the dishwasher.
As I am walking to the front desk to thank my other helper I realize here I am a strong, independent woman who is still attached to her sippy cup! Honestly, that is so ridculous and I laugh out loud.
According to a View on Buddhism attachment is defined as not wanting to be separated from someone or something and includes an aspect of exaggeration or projection.
In other words that old friend fear displays itself in our attachment to things and people.
So, what was I so afraid of? Was it the loss the of cup? Was it my own carelessness? Was it I was going to have to get a new one and it wouldn’t be nearly a cool as the one I thought I had lost and I didn’t really want the change? Or was it a piece of my unique identity was no longer going to be with me?
It wasn’t like I was going to die or anything. It is just a water bottle. But, it got me to thinking about how attached we get to what is familiar, to what we know, the more we believe we want change the reality is we don’t want change at all. We are really attached to what it is we already know and it is only when we are faced squarely with the threat of change that the reality of our attachments becomes apparent.
Starting this weekend I am going to be letting go of twenty items. It is time to loosen that attachment to a few things.
What do you thInQ?
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