Light My Fire - Blog Off

There are some things I do not enjoy doing. One of them is spending hours upon hours in a Casino. The other is doing dishes.

My parents on the other hand – as shocking as this is to say – love it, going to the Casino that is. They hired maid to help with the dishes.

I consider their admiration for the Casino a generation gap, they think I am weriod. I revert to the first part of that statement.

Being the supportive, open minded person I am I will, on occasion, totle along with them to their favourite places to lose cash in the name of entertainment. Apparently it fun. However, if I am there longer than two hours I not only start to go buggy I also start to look for places to hide.

One night I chose to depart from the world of clanging machines and headed into the ladies washroom. I was desparate.

Hiding in the stall I was happily playing Bejewelled on my cell phone. It didn’t cost me a thing, my score was outstanding, and I was at peace. Or so I thought.

All of a sudden I could hear this poor woman sobbing. Awkward.

I was naturally concerned for my fellow washroom mate. Clearly something was wrong. Then my brain went into overdrive... Oh my gosh maybe someone has died – or maybe she’s lost all her money... or....

Then there was a voice.

A friend of the poor heartbroken woman stepped in, “There, there dear... he doesn’t love her, he loves you. I am telling he LOVES you."

The sobbing gets louder.

I go cross-eyed. Lord it is all about a boy.

The exchange went back and forth between the two women but the bottom line was the lady in distress was upset because she thought her man was after another woman or something like that.

And, there I am bearing silent witness to a love triangle in the lady’s washroom at the Casino. Great. Punishment I swear. I also secrectly believe that my mother probably sent them in there.

After listening to the dramarama for about 10 minutes I decided it was better to go and gamble. Leaving my hiding space I turned to wash my hands and there before me were the two women. One sobbing with her face buried into hands, the other lovingly holding her up. They were both well into their 80’s. As in years not the decade.

I never did wash hands. I walked away as fast as I could with one voice screaming inside my head... “Oh my God the relationship drama never ends! We never really grow up! AAAhhhhh!”

Every time I think of that moment in my not so glamorous gambling career I feel a great deal of compassion for that lady. 

I also feel a great deal of resolve for myself. 

Even though I am far from perfect and that my own dating track record could vastly use some improvement the one thing I know for sure is my own spark. It took a long time to find it and one heck of a pile of work. The truth is no one can light your fire for you - only you determine how bright or dim it is going to be.  

ThInQ About It.

Now what about those dishes?

Be sure to scroll down and read what Kai has written in her portion of this Blog Off and enjoy the The Doors Light My Fire as posted on YouTube.

Extending A Hand - Blog Off

When I think back to the mentors, teachers, professors, family, and friends who extended their hand to me, at the times when I needed them to, it is rather amazing! They say it takes a village to raise a child and I believe that cliché is true, for it was so with me. I had many people in my realm who saw me as "different" and so they challenged me in appropriate ways; and as I seem to have been born with a thirst for learning, they helped to instill a strong level of personal responsibility within me regarding it. That continued into my early adulthood, I sought strong individuals whose integrity was at the forefront, and I learned much from their wisdom.

Now the tables have turned and it has been my turn to mentor and teach. How that happened is really anyone's guess! I suppose we are pulled to certain areas for certain reasons. Although I have been doing aspects of this work for many years, I am still surprised when a client or student quotes me. I suppose it means that they are actually listening. So it is then that I do my best to mention something that they too have said, after all, the most interesting interactions are mutual!

We have a tendency to forget and value the connections we can make with other people. Although we are a part of a "Global Community" it is rare for North Americans to really think that way. We're more concerned with our "immediate communities" our own friends and families. Most people do not think further than their immediate (or core) group of people. Even in cities, we see such a separation between groups, and that is really to our detriment. Opening ourselves up to see others as the same as us really helps to build bridges between groups. If we cannot even do that in our own communities, dare we even say that we, individually, are a part of the Global Community? It has to start somewhere.

What I have learned is this: people don't need a hand-out and rarely do they truly need a helping hand, what most people appreciate is an extended hand. To extend our hand (metaphorically or in reality) we are saying to the other person, "I respect you and I am meeting you on even ground." That is what the people who helped to guide me did. They respected me enough to meet me on even ground and challenge me and share their wisdom from that place. We have a choice, always, when we interact with others. We can view them as: above us, beneath us, or with us on the journey. I prefer to walk with others, when I'm not walking alone, and I find it far easier to converse when I'm not looking ahead to someone or looking back to them but looking at them face to face. Sometimes, it really is that simple.

- Kai